Journal 5) Marriage and Happiness

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Journal 5) Marriage and Happiness

Post  Young on Sun May 18 2008, 13:35

Journal 5

Marriage and Happiness



I have already been married for 8 years. It is really true that time flies fast. Marriage was another beginning and an opportunity to extend wings freely for me. Unmarried people are dreaming happy marriage lives and even married people are struggling to keep their marriage lives happy. I am one of them who are struggling not to lose happy marriage life.


Right before getting married, during courtship, usually women take positions of queens. Men don’t hesitate to be servants offering everything their lovely fiancées want. However, things are changed after getting married. As naturally conflicts happen because wives still want to be in the position of queens and husbands don’t want to be servants of their wives any more. Only couples who cope with difficulties can keep marriage lives happy. Many divorced couples say that the main reasons of their divorce are disagreements and conflicts. It means they want to keep their own way and are impatient to their spouses.


Spouses become one of your family members just like your siblings and parents. However, it is harder to continue good, intimate relationship with spouses than one with siblings and parents. You still have to look attractive to your spouses as males or females. We don’t have to care whether I am attractive or not before our parents and siblings. In my case, I feel more comfortable with my husband than my parents. Also, my husband is like both my father and my best friend. In the same manner, I am like his mother as well as his best friend. At the same time, I and my husband are lovers to each other.


Situation changes when couples have children. Without kids, it could be possible to enjoy newlywed life by traveling, eating out for dinner in a fancy, romantic restaurant, go skiing, and so on. Once couples have children, however, they have to give up doing what they did when having no kids. This might sound terrible, but the real happiness starts in this point. Couples cannot avoid devoting their time and energy on taking care of children. Although going through the process of bringing up their children must be challenging for them, it is really true that those children are links between husband and wife, and they are like treasures. Imagine that how pleased and marvelous seeing a miniature mixed with you and your spouse. I am experiencing what people were saying in the book or on TV: ‘Even though I am very tired, every concern just disappears when I see my children.’


As years go by, more and more couples get divorced. I was worried if I could be in the lists of divorced couples. However, the older I get, the more lessons I get. Finally, I have found that it is absolutely necessary and helpful to understand, yield, make myself humble, be honest, and try to do my best as both a wife and a mom. So far, I cannot say I have achieved. However, as long as I know what the right way is and I try to pursuit that way, I will be able to keep my marriage and happy family. At the end, I would like to recommend those who are planning to get married to choose their spouses who have same interests and point of view rather than the amount of education and family background.
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Re: Journal 5) Marriage and Happiness

Post  Sera Jung on Tue May 20 2008, 18:19

I have seen several writings reagarding your kids and family and those writings make me feel that you are very concerned about your family and consider it so valuable. I imagined myself what it would be like after I marry and have children. So warm and nice writing which gives me time to think of family.
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Re: Journal 5) Marriage and Happiness

Post  Kanghoon Jang on Fri May 23 2008, 19:03

Well, It also remind me of my future family and my feeling that I am willing to getting marry with someone. I was a person who never thought about family and always thought my dreams that made my happy. I was cling to the numbers like Toeic scores and GPA points because I am usually happy when I see that. However, something I can't explain makes me different from before. Now, for some reasons, I would like to enjoy my life with my family as much as I can. The worst thing is that I haven't seen my sister almost for 2 years and I am supposed to work soon and could be away from my parent again. It makes me so weepy these days. Certain environment I don't expect suddenly came to me and realize what it is really neccesarry in my life.

Your writing made me reflect my memories involved with my family again

Thank you!


Sincerely,


Kanghoon
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When I was young....

Post  Seyoung Yoon on Wed Jun 04 2008, 11:18

Although I am still young now, when I was more younger than I am, I thought that I won't marry. Because I believed that marriage could be the room to take my career away. At that time, marriage seemed to me as the end of woman's career as professional. Because woman have to concentrate on managing the family.
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Re: Journal 5) Marriage and Happiness

Post  Youn Sujin on Wed Jun 04 2008, 13:51

I learned a good lesson about marriage from your essay. Observing my parents' lives, I got to know that marriage cannot always make people happy. However, you highlighted the happiness and the effort to maintain it in your marriage life, and now I can see marriage from a more positive point of view.
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Re: Journal 5) Marriage and Happiness

Post  Ji hye Lim on Sat Jun 14 2008, 17:57

Through your picture with your baby, I can feel your happiness. Your child is really cute~ Very Happy
And thanks for your advice about marriage from your experience. I feel many things about marriage from your journal.
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